That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably found joy dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start listing the problems. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Performances so bad they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy figures convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Rather, the experience was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for explicit exploits as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.